So here you all are, looking at a website full of sardonically slightly sadistic humor and enough sarcasm to sink some seriously strong sailboats.
I can be professional. I can be proper. I can be anything at all, and much like the licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop, you will never know. Unless you hire me.
Which I think is an absolutely brilliant idea.
I have a lot more work printed and published than I feature on here. I don’t know why I leave so much of my legitimate stuff out.
Element of mystery?
But probably not.
More like poor executive functioning.
So here’s my Resume. It doesn’t get updated a lot and it’s mad out of whack, so it’s more than a tad bit pointless to read. That probably presents a personal potential problem.
Which is why I didn’t actually post it.
I’m not nearly as funny or witty as I think I am.
I’m an oddball and I like it. Sometimes.
My strengths include, but are not limited to, inappropriate commentary, forgetfulness, delusions of belletristic grandeur, horror addiction, anti-climactic conversation skills, poor attention, and overactive JD-like imagination.
And I’m kind of terrified of birds. And dogs. But mostly birds.
Don’t you judge me.