KFC employee douses customer in oil

October 8th, Barataria, Louisiana–A KFC employee was slapped with several of the restaurant’s paper bags last Tuesday by an impatient customer in line. She, in turn, decided that the most fitting reaction was a nice order of hot oil all over his body. Unnamed employee dared to tell a customer to wait. KFC regular Sheema Gonzales used a paper bag as a lethal weapon of facial destruction.

Kudos to both of them for somehow making a lethal assault both horrifying and hysterical. Hot oil? Oh my god. Paper bag slap? Excuse the world for immediately laughing out loud.

Her defense? He started it. The Kentucky Fried Chicken team has reached the end of their patience with rude and obnoxious customers. The verbal abuse was slowly building a mountain of resentment, and the slap brought the tension to a head. The customer simply had to be punished.

It is absolutely true that any physical assault is unacceptable and must be punished, but there is a fine line between consequences and outright madness. A schoolyard excuse for psychotic aggression just doesn’t work.

That’s like saying that, because a professor gave me a few unfair bad grades, I am completely justified in taking my frustration out on his brand new Honda Civic. He hurt my GPA. I’ll hurt his bank account.

And the only concern the KFC kids have is that employees will lose respect and protection. More people will attack them, they claim.

Yeah, because anyone else will be stupid enough to mess with people showering customers with hot oil in broad daylight. It’s doubtful that anyone will dare to raise their voice even half an octave above an “inside voice.” That is, if they decide to talk at all.

KFC: Giving a whole new meaning to, “The customer is always right.”

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