Jason Derulo–Strobe Lights (Trumpets)

Every time that you get turned on
I start seizing up on my own
I wrote this song just looking at you oh, oh
Yeah the bulbs they stay low
But the strobe lights they go

Bam, bam, ba ba ba ba, bam, bam
Wham, wham, wa, wa, wa, wham, wham
Bam, bam, ba ba ba ba, bam, bam
Wham, wham, wa, wa, wa, wham, wham
They go

Is it weird that I shake
Uncontrollably whenever you’re on?
Whenever you’re on
Is it weird that your light
Reminds me of a Screamo song?
Screamo song

Is it weird that I have
Fits at the second you start?
Second you start
Is it weird that your flash
Reminds me of a Kanye West song?

Every time that you get turned on
I start seizing up on my own
I wrote this song just looking at you oh, oh
Yeah the bulbs they stay low
But the strobe lights they go

Bam, bam, ba ba ba ba, bam, bam
Wham, wham, wa, wa, wa, wham, wham
Bam, bam, ba ba ba ba, bam, bam
Wham, wham, wa, wa, wa, wham, wham
They go

(Damn) Is it weird that I see
Clearly when you get turned off?
Get turned off
Is it weird that your pain
Reminds me of a Taylor Swift song?
Taylor Swift song

Is it weird that I run
Every time I’m told you’ll come on?
Is it weird that your effect
Reminds me of an Eminem song

Every time that you get turned on
I start seizing up on my own
I wrote this song just looking at you oh, oh
Yeah the bulbs they stay low
But the strobe lights they go…

*Note: I have controlled epilepsy, and I wrote this because I like to poke fun at my problems. If that offends you, find a sense of humor.

Taylor Swift–Diabetic Taste (Blank Space)

Nice to meet you, where you been?
I could show you confusing things
Sugar, carbs, insulin
Saw it there and I thought
Oh my God, look at that cake
It looks like my next mistake
Diabetes is a game, wanna play?

New pump, meter and strips
I can use them for an easy read
Ain’t it funny, numbers fly
It turns out that they lied to me
But hey, let’s be friends
I’m dying to see how this meal ends
Grab your needles and a pen
I might make my blood sugar good for a weekend

Am I gonna be high forever
Or will my sugars go down one day
I’ll tell you when I finish eating
If the high is worth the pain

Pancreas is a lazy lover
But I don’t care, today
‘Cause I got a lot of carb-o-hydrates
And a bunch of weight to gain

‘Cause we’re young and we’re hungry
We’ll take injections way too far
It’ll leave us angry
And with a nasty scar
Got a long list of unstable numbers
Endo thinks I’m insane
But I’ve got a sweet tooth, baby
And this food’s too plain

Mohamed Elshazly–Gone but never forgotten

55-year-old Mohamed “Mike” Elshazly passed away last Monday due to complications in surgery and terminal glioblastoma.

El-shazly was the father of four children: Amanda Elshazly, Nicholas Elshazly, Adam Elshazly and Sophie Elshazly. He was the husband of Sara Elshazly, eldest brother of six children, son of Afaf and Ref’at Elshazly, an uncle to clowder of children and a friend to many.

Although his life was short, Elshazly contributed a lot to the people around him, both close and distant. His love, affection, kindness and generosity were confirmed by a great number of family members, friends and even distant relatives.

Elshazly’s mother reminisced the wonderful moments that were given to her by her son, and admitted that, of all her children, she had always been particularly fond of him. His gentle nature was a constant comfort to her, and after the death of her husband, he took care of her as well as he could.

Even after he fell ill, Elshazly still went out of his way to show his love for the people around him. Despite his sickness, he, along with his wife, drove four hours simply to attend his niece’s graduation party, still bearing a heartwarming smile.

His funeral took place last Tuesday in Long Island, New York, and people both near and far came to honor his memory. His family, friends and acquaintances lined up side by side to pray for his forgiveness and granting of paradise.

As an attest to how wonderful a person he was, more than forty people made the prayer and said their final goodbyes as he was lowered into the ground.

Despite the heartbreak of his passing, he has far from disappeared.

Not being present is not the same as being gone, and he is one of the few people on earth who are gifted with living on forever in the hearts and memories of the people who loved him, and will always love him.

My Uncle Died…

My uncle died, today.

I’m not really sure how to react. He had a brain tumor, and it’s been a while, so we should have been prepared.

We weren’t.

I don’t have anything else to say on it, because there’s not much to say, right now. I hope that he is granted heaven for his patience with all of the suffering he faced.

Tomorrow is the funeral.

Expecting drama.

Temple student shot on off campus street

November 8th, Philadelphia—A 20-year-old Temple University Student was mugged and shot around 1 a.m. last saturday on the 1500 block of 17th street, just a short walk from the university’s campus and two streets away from Temple’s Liacouras garage.

The student was standing outside of his home when an unidentified person approached him and revealed a silver handgun clipped onto his belt.

Instead of complying to the attacker’s demand for his money or attempting to flee, the victim charged at the perpetrator and attempted to hit him. Before he could reach him, the man withdrew the weapon and shot the student in the hip. Because of a party going on in the house behind them, no one inside heard the gunshot.

Police officials have confirmed that the assailant was a 5’8″ African American male between the ages of 21 and 26, and was wearing a red hooded sweatshirt, blue jeans and a red beanie.

A similar assault took place in the same area on two females about one and a half hours earlier that day. The suspect allegedly stole two cell phones and $30, but neither woman was physically injured.

Temple University’s police department immediately sent email alerts to all students, faculty and alumni describing the suspect and advising them to stay away from the area until told otherwise.

After undergoing surgery to remove the bullet at Hahnemann University Hospital, the victim is in stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery.

The suspect still has not been arrested and his identity remains unknown.

A Mouth to Remember

Adil El-Kamhawy shoots his mouth off for a living. He gives his opinion when it isn’t wanted. He’s more passionate about games than anything else, and he’s one of the top sports radio show hosts in Egypt.

El-Kamhawy owns two hours a day on Korat Elnaharda, which is a station dedicated to Egyptian soccer game coverage and sports-related news. While most other radio personalities working for the station tend to only do sports reports and game coverage, El-Kamhawy dedicates about an hour of his show to trash-talking about soccer players, coaches and even fans.

“They hate me for it, but they love me for it. Soccer fans like to be angry, and I like making them angry,” El-Kamhawy said.

“El-Kamhawy began working at Korat Elnaharda in 2007, right after he finished studying journalism at Cairo University. He began his career as a field reporter for small, unpopular soccer teams’ games. He spent his early career writing statistics reports and creating prompts for the stations’ hosts. Three years later, he got his first chance on the air two days after he turned 23.

“We had him filling in for the show’s regular, and he really surprised us. He said some things that many people wouldn’t dare say, but he had everyone laughing. That’s a good thing, to get Egyptians to laugh. They hated him and his opinions, but they wanted to hear from him again. He was different, and that’s the key,” said Adam Shaher, one of the station’s managers, said.

El-Kamhawy said that he became a sports journalist because he loved soccer, but couldn’t be a soccer player.

“I didn’t have the talent, or the agility or the body type,” El-Kamhawy said. “At least when I talk about soccer, my career doesn’t end when I’m forty.”

A few years after El-Kamhawy got his own slice of Korat Elnaharda air-time, he received a several violent threats from two fans of El-Zamalek soccer team. They had been brought on by a comment El-Kamhawy made about the team’s star player, Ahmed Hassan Kamel.

“I said that Kamel’s a second-rate player. He was a midfielder for Al-Ahly and they got rid of him. Everyone knows that the two teams absolutely hate each other, but Al-Ahly is a better team. Zamalek fans don’t like to hear people say that out loud,” El-Kamhawy said.

El-Kamhawy has been on the receiving end of a lot of hatred, but he shrugs it off as something that is “typical to the business.” When asked about how he feels about other sports journalists, El-Kamhawy shook his head and laughed:

“They hate me enough as it is.”

Buffalo Bills Be Cheatin’

Buffalo Bills 43
New York Jets 23

Did anyone see this little gem from the Jets/Bills game a few weeks ago? I don’t have much to say about this because the video below just speaks for itself.

I think Richardson’s entire train of thought at this moment consisted of, “Mother F***** we are 1-6 get that football back where the hell it came from or so help me–”

Or at least something along the lines of:

Man, I love football.

Egregious Ebola Excitement

Ebola. If I hear another person talk about how they’re afraid of getting Ebola, I will implode.

First of all, you are more likely to get struck by lightening than contract Ebola. You are more likely to get shot in South Philadelphia than contract Ebola. You are more likely to fall off of a major city bridge into the water and be devoured by hungry recently recovered anorexic sharks than contract Ebola.

Okay, maybe not the last one.

The point is, I’m tired of all of these people running around covering their mouths and talking about how they would rather have AIDS than Ebola.

Why would that even be an option, ever?

I’m not saying this Ebola thing isn’t dangerous. Sure. It is. It definitely is, but this insane obsession that people have spread throughout, nay, infected the world with have had some seriously messed up repercussions.

I get that the whole thing spread from Chad, or Guinea or maybe it was Nigeria, and that we should all be excruciatingly careful, but I saw something so disgusting and racist yesterday that I am compelled to write about it.

I was waiting for my all-things-pumpkin-spice order at Wawa, minding my own strepthroat-infested business, when this black guy picked up the wrong order. He put it back down when he saw the number, and the guy—whose race I refuse to mention because it is not important—whose sandwich it really was refused to take it.

His genius excuse?

“I don’t know, man. That could have Ebola, or something.”

The level of stupid that this person has reached grossly and phenomenally surpasses the idiocy that I figuratively come in contact with on the internet every day.

There have been four cases of Ebola in the United States. FOUR!

And news flash: “black” is not slang for “African.” One hails from a totally different continent than ours, and the other is just as ‘Murica as you, sir.

Also, Ebola is extremely infections, not extremely contagious. Although these two words are very close in definition, they are not in this particular case.

Infectious (adj.): an infection which can spread by a the travel of a small amount of bodily fluid.

Contagious (adj.): likely to spread from one person or organism to another by direct or indirect contact.

Ebola is not considered very contagious because it is not submitted through air or indirect contact. That means that you’re probably not going to get Ebola from standing near a hospital in New York. You’re probably not going to contact Ebola because of some guy touching the outside wrapper of your gross extra-meat pork sandwich in South Jersey, either.

Yeah, I watched them prepare that disgusting thing and almost vomited from all the extra mayo and fattening layers of pig you demanded that weren’t even an option on the menu, jerk.

I hate racist people, but if you absolutely have to be a self-important bigot, at least have the presence of mind not to showcase your intense ignorance and mind-numbing stupidity to the world.

You might get a vicious blog post written about you.

Dumbass.

 

Voting was Very Very…

…for lack of a synonymous “v” word: pointless?

I didn’t vote.

Nope. I did not use my birthright that was awarded to me at age 18, today. In fact, I have never voted at all.

Well, no. I voted in spirit for Obama in his first term, and got my parents to actually hit the polls for the first, but admittedly disappointing, black president. I was only 17 at the time.

But anyway, the point is, I didn’t vote. Why? I’ll tell you why. I hate both parties. The democrats are not truly democratic and the republicans, well, let’s say they’ve never been my favorite team.

People usually vote democratic for the obvious “rights” that they promote: abortion, gay marriage, false promise of financial aid, etc. Apparently, Republicans don’t find either of the former very attractive for their political crusade.

Which, side note, I don’t really get. People who are so vehemently anti-homosexuals are working so hard to debilitate and eradicate them from society, but for what?

It’s not affecting your life. If you don’t like it, don’t participate. Don’t go to the parades. Don’t watch movies with gay people in them. Don’t hang out in Philly’s “Gayborhood.” Just mind your own goddamn business.

It doesn’t matter if I agree with gay marriage. I’m not gay, and I’m not getting married. If someone else wants to submit themselves the to candy-coated torture that is lifelong legal union, they can have at it. Why on earth should I give a damn who’s sticking what in where if I’m not getting screwed?

Sure, a lot of people consider it a sin, but again, it’s not your sin. You are not going to hell because someone else is gay, so worry about where you’re ending up after you kick the bucket.

Get over yourself. This is not about you.

I am not an activist. I am not someone who walks in pride parades of any kind. I am the guy looking out of his fifteenth floor window in New York City bitching about the traffic.

But going back to the voting thing, I’m always being told that I have to be part of the system. If I want things to change, I have to cast a vote or stop whining.

Let me tell you why that’s ridiculous.

Whether we can all accept it or not, we do not have control over what happens in our country. You can pick whoever you want, but each and every candidate has a higher power to answer to that is not you, or for my more religious folks, god. Sorry for the newsflash.

And yes, that includes the president, because as much as I loathe Barrack the Rock Obama, he doesn't really call all the shots, so even I have to admit that not everything is a result of his complete failure as head of state.

Who was running for office that I truly gave a damn about, yesterday? No one. No one at all. Who was running for office that actually mattered? No one. No one at all.

Like, for example, Tom Corbett was running in Pennsylvania. Let’s talk a little bit about Corbett–the guy whose wife went on television to tell the world that her husband was not a politician, nor did he know how to be.

Great political statement, lady. You do know politician does not directly mean lying asshole, right?

Politician (n.): a person who is professionally involved in politics, especially as a holder of or a candidate for an elected office.

Ex: Tom Corbett is not a politician, and is therefore not fit for office.

Maybe it’s that little statement that cost him the election.

What I’m saying is, as long as I have been alive, these elections have never made any real impact on my daily life. I grew up, I went to college, I graduated college last May, I am unemployed–thanks for the help with that one, Obama–and I’m severely single. None of these things were interrupted by people choosing the wrong senator.

I doubt Tom Wolfe will be any different.

You can burn me at the stake and say that people like me are the reason nothing is getting done, but you would be lying to yourself. People like me aren’t in the way. The people you’re voting into office are.

I don’t vote lesser of two evils, because I will never vote for anything I don’t one hundred percent believe in. I don’t believe in our politicians, I don’t believe in our current political platforms and I don’t believe that my finger on a button is going to do anything.

I am just a super pale American girl who would rather write about the dumb shit other people do than participate in a futile attempt by other powerless souls to fix their dumb shit.

And I guess it’s kind of hypocritical, since I worked on the 2012 voting campaign at Temple U, but let’s face it, that was pretty much for my own selfish need to fatten up my resume to the point of obesity before graduation.

Plus, staying unregistered has kept me off the jury duty list, and I’d like to keep it that way.

I’ve got unemployment to focus on, thanks.