The Eagles’ Entirely Evil Existence and Eventual End

In case the title didn’t make it painfully obvious, I hate the Eagles.

Sorry, not sorry.

Halfway through that first sentence I realized that I am so passionate about football, but that isn’t reflected anywhere on this tiny tidbit of the internet that I happen to own. That’s why there’s now an NFL tab.

Anyway, I am currently having difficulty accepting that they are first in the NFC East division. Above the Cowboys. Who lost. Today. Horribly. 28-17. Against the Cardinals. Who are 7-1.


Don’t misunderstand. I am not a Cowboys fan. I am a diehard, bleed blue, honest-to-god Giants fan. It absolutely kills me that Eli Manning has thrown 14 Touchdowns in seven games to Nick Foles’ 12 in eight, and we are still second-to-last in the division.

But that’s not the point. Despite my ill feelings toward his team, I have a mild amount of respect for Nick Foles. So many people are ragging on him, but at least he’s been doing his job. Eagles fans would do well to remember their team’s failures in all of the previous years with Michael Vick on deck as head honcho.

And now the poor guy’s clavicle is injured. He was forced to leave today’s game against the Texans before the second half, but the Eagles still managed to win, and Foles’ lynch mob has been given more reason to hate his guts.

What, so Mark Sanchez’s two touchdowns are now evidence that Nick Foles is not the big—or even part of–reason that the Eagles are suddenly remembering their namesake was born with wings?

And again, though I dislike Chip kelly, I think he made a commendable decision keeping Nick Foles as starting quarterback this season. Good ol’ number nine pulled his weight last year, and his efforts to do so again this year have been pretty solid.

And that will be the last positive thing I say about the Eagles.

They’re playing the Panthers next week (who have been on a sad losing streak since their tie with the Bangals in week six) and, unfortunately, I predict a big win for Philly on that one.

But I’ve been wrong before.

Here’s hopin’.

I would say no offense to the Eagles fans, but I mean, let’s face it, no one would believe that I mean it.

Because I don’t.

But if a potential employer who is a diehard Eagles fan and hates anyone who isn’t happens to be reading this, well, your team still sucks.


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