Do not go on blind dates.

I got set up on a blind date, the other night.

I cannot stress enough how horrendous it was. He was an absolute creature. The way he spoke about other people, the way he talked about himself, the way he dismissed everything he didn’t understand as ridiculous and worthless, it all made me want to throw him out of a window.

Perhaps the most disgusting thing that came out of his mouth was on the subject of love, sex and marriage. In his opinion, girls should always be dressed up and gorgeous. They must always be flirty and seductive. There should never be a time when she is not reciprocating his romance and giving him her full attention.

Are you fucking kidding me?

You mother fucker.

It is not your decision how I express my emotions. You are not king of all the land, and I have no obligation to make you horny 24/7.

He’s about to take his dentistry license exam. Apparently, that makes him special and awesome and a treat that everyone should be grateful for.

No, we are not grateful for you.

So I did what any logical person would do and told him upfront about my diabetes. He made this weird face and was really awkward the rest of the time we were together. He hasn’t called me since.

Never another blind date. Ever.

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