Personal Hygiene: When You Sit on a Throne of Smells

I am unsure how to even begin to explain the detriment of even one hazardously disgusting body odor to the very fabric of our society’s wellbeing. A terrible smell can tear us apart, for the human nose can only manage to inhale so much before violently turning on its assailant.

It is actually very selfish to refuse to take care of your body hygienically. It hurts people far more than words, because they smell you before they hear you. In fact, if strong enough, your smell can hinder all five human senses. The nose is obviously annihilated upon your entrance, but a little known fact is, a coat of smelliness lays upon the tongue, hindering taste, glazes the eyes, hazing vision, and wafts into the ears, blocking intelligible sound.

This arduous aroma prevents productivity, reduces respect, alleviates affection and deletes decorum. If people smell you before they see you, bad things happen. Humans can only pretend so much. You will be ousted from society–or at least wherever you are being tolerated for the moment–due to neglect of personal hygiene.

All I am saying is, a sniff test is always helpful. Now, if your nose has died due to its exposure to the stench of your body, find another victim to sniff you. Someone has to take one for the team.

A little soap and water never killed the cat, unlike curiosity, but that’s another story. Far be it from me to tell you what to do, but buddy, deodorant.

And buy the good kind, you big cheapskate.

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