It was Accidentally on Purpose, but that’s Neither Here nor There.

I think that nonsensical sentences can be the most sensible of all structured statements. There is far greater weight and meaning in them. My favorite foxymoron, for example, is, “a deafening silence.”

I am aware that I accidentally wrote, “foxymoron.” I am intentionally leaving it that way. It sounds great.

This is not to be confused with a “foxy moron.” Those are useless on all counts.

Yes, linguistically, it shows a poor understanding of basic English. However, it can also exhibit an understanding of the human psyche and the figurative world. The word “deafening” is something that impairs your hearing. “Silence” is a lack of sound; hearing absolutely nothing at all. In essence, you are equally “deaf” in either situation. It will never make sense on paper, but there is method in the madness, here.

When someone reads, a “deafening silence,” it is easier for him or her to truly imagine the situation being described. We have all experienced silence as a true “presence” before. It has, at one time or another, been almost palpable in a way. We just never acknowledged it or recognized it for what it was. Often, we describe as “eerie.”

However, this does not apply all the time. There are several “oxymoronical” phrases that are simply idiotic, but we use them anyway. My favorite example of this, “accidentally on purpose.”

When I was in sixth grade, I thought that this was the cleverest thing I had come to think of. I did not even know it was a “thing,” back then. I thought I was a literary genius who had made thought up something incredible.

I am not proud of this, but for the purpose of this argument, I will admit it. I was deluded.

This also applies to “definitely maybe,” which doubles as a title for one of the worst Romantic Comedies I have set my peepers on. That one, I had nothing to do with.

Another example is, “neither here nor there.” Then where the fuck is it? Where is this “there” so that I can look elsewhere? It doesn’t even make sense for the situations it is used in. “I ran into a tree, but that’s neither her nor there.” It is supposed to mean that something “doesn’t matter.”

I am ashamed to admit that I have used it on numerous occasions, before.

I should be shot for my hypocrisy.

But that’s neither here nor there.

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